Muzak

Sunday, April 28, 2024

112: Rottenbeard (prod 119)

 Original airdate: October 4, 2004

Story by Magnus Scheving

Written by Noah Zachary, Cole Louie, Ken Pontac, Magnus Scheving

Directed by Magnus Scheving, Raymond P. Le Gue

Executive producers - Magnus Scheving, Ragnheidur Melsted, Raymond P. Le Gue, Mark Read, Brown Johnson, Kay Wilson Stallings

Starring Magnus Scheving, Stefan Karl Steffanson, Julianna Rose Mauriello

Puppeteers - Ronald Binion, Gudmondor Thor Karason, Jodi Eichelberger, David Matthew Feldman, Julie Westwood, Sarah Burgess

YOU ARE A PIRATE! The famous song featured in today’s episode of LazyTown, but is it good enough to get me to pirate it?

The episode begins with Sportacus eating his ‘Sportacus Club Special’ which is just a regular boring ass lettuce and tomato sandwich. Come on bruh. Put some meat on that thing.

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While this opening sequence reminds me that this show never talks about meat other then Let’s Go, LazyTown! (1997), it does at least technically put eating wheat based foods in a positive light.

It’s a beautiful perfect sunny day in LazyTown, and Sportacus decides to take a look at what the kids are doing. Stephanie is in a pirate costume and yelling for help.

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Sportacus thinks she is in trouble (why didn’t the crystal beep.. hmm??) and goes to town to save her. He cartwheels over those weird yellow walls and jumps over signs to save her. But Ziggy tells him he is in the water and he has stepped on Stingy’s fish.

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Trixie then tells him that they are playing pirates and Steph is walking off the plank. Cue a hilarious argument between Stingy and Trixie about who’s captain. Stingy wants to elect himself because he has the piggy-parrot, but Trixie has promoted herself because she has a hook. There’s no challenge here. Sportacus says goodbye and runs back to the ship (nobody’s gonna steal it man), then Stephanie walks the plank. Meanwhile, Robbie is in the lair talking about those 'rotten kids’ and how they do nothing but make noise. Remind you of someone? Robbie then grabs his largest pair of noise cancelling headphones but he can still hear them. LOL. Now Ziggy has a sword.

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Pirate Ziggy is talking about how you should give him your loot, and by loot he means caanddyy. AAAHRGH! LOOK AT THAT BALLOON SWORD! TAKE ALL MY FUIT GUMIES!!1!1!!! Anyways, Ziggy dives to the floor once he sees Mayor Milford and sneak attacks, 'ballooning’ his face.

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Milford politely asks him to stop it and Ziggy tells them they’re playing pirates. Then he takes the kids to his office to tell them all about LazyTown’s very own real pirate named Rottenbeard who spread his meanness all across the town and took everything he wanted. Stingy is excited mainly at the word 'took’.

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Rottenbeard took a lot of things, except the famous 'LazyTown stone’, which is the secret to living in LazyTown. I think the secret is 'balance’, guessing that’s what the whole show is about. Anyways, they all walk outside to find it, and the stone says 'LAZyToWN SHOULD ALWAyS BE’.

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Now everyone is kerfuffled (it’s so simple, the secret to living in LazyTown is ) about what the secret is, and Milford says Rottenstein broke it and stole a piece.

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Robbie is watching and he has another amazing idea - to make a fake stone, knowing that they’ll have to do whatever it says on it. He quickly crafts a new stone (HOW DOES HE DO IT!!!!???) and tries to replicate the broken piece. He carries the stone, but it is deemed too heavy for him and he falls down. Then he gets an EXACT REPLICA of the broken piece in his hand. HOW????

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Meanwhile, Milford is reading the kids a chapter about a hero who stopped Rottenbeard’s Lazyways. Does this remind you of anyone..? No.. okay. He jumped off a wall and landed on the ground, somersaulted behind Rottenbeard, crawled between his legs, and defeated him.

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Rottenbeard promised to himself one day he will return (a new generation of him will). The kids decide to dig for buried treasure chests, and while they’re having fun to pretend being pirates, a new friend joins them - Robbie Rotten in his newest disguise as Rottenbeard.

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He’s talking to them about a buncha stuff about pirate business, I don’t know, it was about 30 seconds, I skipped it. So, Rottenbeard gives Stephanie a piece of paper and it reads Robbie’s grocery list. LOL! He takes it back and gives her a map of where to find the 'precious booty’.

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Then they all get on his boat and perform ’You are a Pirate’, which I didn’t really care for excluding Stephanie’s verses. Meanwhile, the kids have been digging for what seems like forever, and Ziggy is right in front of the X. Robbie tries hinting to dig down by saying 'you have to look under your nose sometimes, look down’ and he doesn’t get the hint.. gosh. Then Ziggy finally sees the X (Are we talking about THOSE films or the letter..?) and Trixie gives Stephanie a toy shovel to dig with.

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She finally finds the treasure chest and opens it. It is the fake missing piece Rottenbeard has made. Nobody has noticed what it says though (the characters in this show have some very strange brain capacity), but Stephanie so happy she sends some mail to Sportacus.

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The letter reads 'We found the LazyTown stone. -Stephanie’ and Sportacus instantly knows what she is talking about. He takes two tennis rackets and rides to town. Milford deems this a historical day in history (no, I didn’t stuff that sentence up, LOL!!). Sportacus blows the dust off the missing piece, and it now reads 'LAZyToWN SHOULD ALWAyS BE LAZy’. Everyone is pretty disappointed and sad that they have to lie around and do nothing now. But, this is exactly how they were like years.. before Stephanie came

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Trixie is flipping through the 'History of LazyTown’ while Stephanie is over at the stone, sulking about how she has to spend her summer doing nothing 'all because of some stupid st-’, just when she leans on it and the desk it is on falls over. Then she finds another treasure map and shows the kids.

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So, while Ziggy and Stephanie are the only ones digging, Trixie is reminicising how she is the captain because she has a hook AND the map, and Stingy is singing Wonders on the Sea.

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Robbie hears their racket and goes back to stop them from finding the real piece. For the laziest guy in town, he puts on his disguise pretty fast. But it’s too late, they’ve already found the treasure chest.

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Rottenbeard says it’s impossible to find treasure when you’re tied to a tree.. then he ties them to a tree. LOL!! Sportacus does an astonishing frontflip onto the treasure chest. Oh, boy, get ready for this awesome G-rated fight scene directed by amazing action movie legend, Magnus Scheving!!

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Rottenbeard steals Stephanie’s sword and he swings it over his legs, but Sportacus dodges the attack with a jump. Reminds me of when Bruce Lee did the same move in 'Fist of Fury’. Robbie swings again, but he flips onto the ground. Rottenbeard swings forward and Sportacus rotates his leg. Sportacus retalliates by.. throwing the treasure chests in Rottenbeard’s hands..? It works, because he falls to the ground. LOL!!

Stephanie manages to read the books with her leg, and Trixie tells Sportacus to grab a sword. He grabs his tennis rackets and whacks him straight on the butt. LOL!! Then he steals Trixie’s sword. The two circle each other and Sportacus twirls his tennis rackets. Rottenbeard twirls his balloon swords, but they decrease in size all times (LOL!!) until he gets it juuuusssstttt riiiiiigggghhhhhttttt..

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Sportacus jumps on the wall like the hero in the book did (who strangly looks like the “Robbie Rotten Comes to LazyTown” (1999) counterpart of Sportacus) and Robbie nearly falls into the hole the kids dug. Then he charges at Sportacus, and Sportacus steps to the side. Then he falls over the wall.

Sportacus flips over Rottenbeard and whacks him on the butt again! Then he slides over his legs, reluctantly “gives him a little push” (softly kicks him), and Rottenbeard has fell into the kids’ dug hole. Jacky Chan who? This is the epitome of foreign fight scenes. Then Robbie’s disguise is revealed and he has a bunch of dirt in his mouth (haha!).

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Sportacus unties the kids and he takes the treasure chest over to the rest of the LazyTown stone. He blows the dust off the REAL missing piece and it says.. “LAZyToWN SHOULD ALWAys BE.. FOLLOWING THE LAZyRANTS TUMBLR ACCOUNT”.. nah, just kidding. It actually says that 'LAZyToWN SHOULD ALWAyS BE HAPPy’.

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And everyone is supper happy about that! Milford says it’ll be especially easy because they just have to smile. Then they perform Bing Bang.

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Meanwhile, Robbie is in his lair, trying to take Milford’s advice to smile, but the mirror breaks. A little bit harsh, but kinda funny.

THE END.

10/10 episode if I must say. Stephanie’s verse is pretty cool in the featured song, and it also features the closest thing we’ll ever get to a LazyTown fight scene.


 

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